How Not To Act At A Networking Event

So I just came from a great free networking event, Bizmix Networking Happy Hour, setup by the Tampa Bay Business Journal. It was held at the very ritzy Don CeSar in St. Petersburg Beach, Florida, about a 40 minute drive from Tampa, Fl.

Most of the people at this event were very friendly and very nice. I was the youngest person there I believe, but that’s normally how it is at networking events for me. But being the fact that I was the youngest person at this event, you’d think people would know how to act at a networking event. Surprisingly, there are some people who just don’t.

I would say 90% of the people I ran into were very pleasant,courteous, charming, engaging, ect. But the other 10% had… I wouldn’t say character flaws, because we all have those, but social character flaws to an unacceptable degree.

Instead of giving advice on how to act at a networking event, I’m going to give advice on how not to act.

Your There To Network, So Network

For one, your there to network, so go out and network. If you go alone, like I do, it can be even more awkward for you. But, let that work towards your advantage. Don’t walk from place to place like you have a purpose to be somewhere, don’t bury yourself into your cell phone and don’t monopolize someone’s time. Got no one to talk to? Good, go stand out in the open, especially where people are passing through and stand there and look stupid. Yes, stand there and look stupid. People who are walking by, such as myself, looking for people to network with will be much more likely to talk to you than someone who has a back turned talking to a coworker or someone who’s walking from place to place with blinders on. In other words, if you look busy with someone, people will hesitate coming to you. Think about it, it makes sense, you don’t want to be bothered if your busy. So if you look busy, people will assume you don’t want to be bothered.

Groups Are Bad For Networking

In big networking events, don’t stand in groups just to be part of a conversation and to avoid looking alone with no one to talk to. That’s the problem with networking events. There can be 200 people there, yet only 25% are actually engaged in conversations. The rest are huttled around the people who are actually having a conversation. This isn’t a social event, there should be no “life of the party” during a networking event. If your back is turned to me and your facing a group, clearly not part of the conversation but in with a group, I’m not going up to talk to you. I’m gonna’ go find a lonely looking person who I clearly won’t be interrupting. Or, look at it this way, who do you think that potential lead will come network with? You, who’s inside of a group of people, or me, who’s standing alone not part of any group?

Bringing Colleagues Can Hinder Networking

If you attend an event with a colleague, do not… I repeat, do not conversate with them when you are alone. Sure, talk to them, like “These cheese cubes are good, huh?” but leave it at that. If you don’t, unless you all are wearing a uniform that screams “We’re from the same company”, people are going to assume you and your colleagues are strangers networking. Or, if someone does notice you are together, it still may make it awkward for someone to approach, especially if it’s one person trying to approach two or three people. In fact, if you go with a colleague, break out. Don’t hang with the person you went with, spread out and network by yourselves on the behalf of your company. That’s why you all are sent there, not to “gang up” on one person for networking, but to spread out. Three people networking each by themselves is a lot more effective than a group trying to network. I got more networking done as one person than any group of people together did. And being in a group doesn’t make anyone any more impressed with what you have to offer.

Don’t Be Rude, Stupid!

I mean it, you need to keep that in mind. Would you honestly be rude to a potential high paying client? No, you would kiss up to them. So why be rude to fellow business owners / employees at a networking event? Some people just don’t know how to act, their personality is their biggest weakness. That’s ok then… just be a wall flower. When people come to you, resist all urges to be yourself if your a jerk. Ask them about their business. Are you thinking “That’s stupid.”? Then say “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”. If you don’t have a good personality, then don’t talk about yourself or your company. Let them ask questions, keep your answers polite and short, and “deflect” the conversation back on the more powerful conversationalist (the person your talking to). Your business card and web site talk about what your business does. If the words that come out of your mouth will turn the person your talking too off, then do your best not to talk about your business. Let it be all about their business and just general conversation of the event. If you make a decent impression, that person will remember you as being pleasant and will check out what you have to offer on your business card later. If your a jerk, such as interrupting people or say the wrong thing, your card will be trashed… or worst, that person will remember you and will talk people out of doing business with you.

You Need To Sell Yourself First

People are there to network with you! Not your card or your web site. If your a decent conversationalist, meaning… if your not a jerk, when someone asks you about your business, that’s your opportunity to shine! If I ask “So, tell me a little more about automotive diagnostic systems…”, don’t tell me “Look at my card for the list of services I do.”. If I say “What kind of businesses do you work with, big or small?” don’t say “You can find out what kind of businesses we work with on our web site”. Don’t say that! This the only time you’ll probably be able to talk to people about your business without being considered a solicitor. There are only two reasons someone would say “Go to my website to find out what we do…” to a person at a networking event. Either they don’t know about their product or services they’re trying to sell, or they don’t value you and consider you a waste of time. Sure, go ahead and say things like that. You know what happens? Boom… in the garbage your card goes.

Your There To Network With Everyone

Don’t discriminate. Network with everyone, including people doing the same thing as you, your direct competition. People are so stupid for thinking “Oh, this person couldn’t even use the services I’m offering, this is a waste of time.”. Yeah, no wonder your business is failing. You never know when someone will be a potential lead or referral for business. I’m a consultant and I’m on site (I have no office), so I have no overhead business expenses and the majority of services offered by people who attend networking events don’t apply to me. “I install commercial floors…”, “I do interior design for businesses…”, “I do human resource management…”. None of them apply to me, and after a few seconds of talking to me, it becomes pretty obvious to most people that what they’re offering can’t be used by me. But I refer business all the time, and I’m someone that people typically love once I refer them business or two. Yet, people look at me and say “This guy can’t use my service” and instantly write me off. Wrong move jack. Also being rude or brushing off competitors is also a very dangerous move. Be friendly and genuine. They may refer business to you if they’re too busy, or are going on vacation or simply think your more qualified (specialized) in what you do. But if you piss them off or show signs of hostility, they may talk bad about your services to potential clients.

Bring Business Cards Or Don’t Show Up

Ok, showing up without networking cards is always better than not showing up at all. But it does make a bad impression to a networking event. It’s so unprofessional to have a conversation with someone and have them be like “Sorry, I didn’t bring any cards with me…”. You think to yourself “Well why did you come?”. It’s also bad when someone runs out of cards. It may not seem like such a big deal to you, but think about it like this. If I’m very interested in your services, if you say “I don’t have anymore cards left”, that makes me feel like you already gave your cards out to the people that mattered. Of course that’s not the case, but that’s the way it makes people feel. If you do happen to show up at an event and realize “Crap, I forgot the cards!”, it’s ok… this is one of the few times I condone white lying. When it’s time to offer your card, just explain that you ran out and apologize. That’s at least better than saying “I forgot to bring any”.

Go To A Bar For A Drink, Not A Networking Event

I know, this is sounds stupid and obvious… something you’d hear in school. But no, it’s so true. People just don’t seem to get it. Here’s something a lot of you won’t like to hear. Don’t drink alcohol while at a business networking event. You might think I’m a little bias because I don’t drink alcohol, but no, this is sound advice. Your at a business mixer, this is for business. If you wanna’ have a good time and drink, go out and do it at a bar or with friends. But not when your dealing with business. Midday networking events always have much more polite and enjoyable people at them compared to nighttime events that serve alcohol. You know why? Because people’s politeness and general enjoyability goes down with they drink. Sure, let other people act that way… but if you care about your business or your company, you don’t want to be one of the ones acting like that.

It’s Not All About You

Don’t go on and on talking about yourself, your services or your company. Your there to impress them. The only person your going to impress is yourself if you simply talk about yourself. To impress people, ask them genuine questions about themselves or their business. With your questions, you can make small talk, but keep it about their business. A person will be much more impressed with you if you show more interest in them than talking about you and your services. Ask questions, but in a real way. Don’t ask questions in a interrogational manor, such as “How long have you been in business?” followed by “What is your business goal?”. (What is my business goal? Phh… I don’t know, to make money??) Ask questions in a friendly, non-threatening way, as if this was your buddy starting a business. “So, you do pool cleaning? Cool. What do you think of cleaning people’s pools, do you enjoy it?” and that could be followed up by a “That must be an interesting job. How long have you been doing it for Pete?”. You may be a fortune 500 company and could care less about this “pool boy” who only has three employees, but that “pool boy” may have a client who could turn into a lead that would be your biggest score of the year. And last, of course, allow the person your talking to ask questions of you. Don’t monopolize the conversation talking about yourself, or asking questions about the person.

General Advice

• Don’t ever interrupt a stranger having a conversation to network under any circumstances
• Don’t dismiss yourself from a conversation to talk to someone more interesting
• Don’t dismiss yourself from a conversation simply because someone has a service your not interested in
• Don’t hand out business cards to people unless you’ve properly introduced yourself
• Don’t take phone calls in the middle of a conversation unless it’s an emergency
• If you must take an emergency phone call during a conversation, apologize and explain it’s an emergency phone call
• Don’t accept someone’s business card without them accepting yours also
• Introduce yourself to each person if conversating with a group of people
• Don’t monopolize the entire conversation under any circumstance
• Don’t be rude to anyone, you never know if a potential client is listening
• Don’t refer to someone’s name tag after they’ve introduced themselves, refer to their business card if anything

All this advice is just common sense really, but I see so many people acting shameful at networking events. If you enjoy reading this, follow me on twitter.com/johnBbaird and you can find me on linkedin.com/in/johnBbaird and also at facebook.com/johnBBaird .

Peace, JbB